What Less Do You Want, Huh?

My mom always wore socks around her house. Thick fuzzy socks that somehow managed to hang ill-fittingly off her size tens. Always too big. She wore them year-round and I assumed her feet were always cold. Maybe they were, I never asked. I moved into and out of that house four times, the last time being after her death and my divorce. I became the “woman of the house” and did my best to take care of the cleaning that my dad did his best to navigate in the few years she’d been gone. 

The hardwood flooring was my arch nemesis. There has always been a lot of foot traffic in my parents’ home. Family, friends, and dogs are always welcome and drop-ins are expected. My dad is a hardworking blue-collar type and it shows on his pants and his shoes. Add my little person’s snacks and sand-play and you get twenty-two hundred square feet of dust and grit. I vacuumed, dust-mopped, wet-mopped, asked for shoe removal and eventually…

I just put on some thick fuzzy socks. And I smiled. I get it now, mom. I stopped fighting the tide and accepted that good enough is good enough. 

As a high-anxiety recovering perfectionist with ADHD I get overwhelmed a lot. When there are too many things on my to-do list I’ve started prioritizing by asking myself “does this matter?” Does it matter if the floors are dusty? Does it matter if the laundry isn’t put away? Does it matter if I put off making the appointment just one more day? Does it matter if my son skips his bath for the second day in a row? Most often the answer is no. Most often I can put on some socks straight out of the dryer they’ve been in for three days and get on with it. Or not. Maybe I just sit down and play a video game with my kid. Or take a nap. Or stare at a wall. Because in the greater scheme of things, it really doesn’t matter. 

As we roll out of the holidays and into the new year a lot of us are feeling overwhelmed. We just did the most, spent the most, cleaned up the most. Now, especially as entrepreneurs, we’re looking ahead to all the possibilities on the horizon. We’re dreaming the most, aspiring to the most, aiming to achieve the most. While it’s important to set goals, plan, and grow personally and professionally, it’s also important to remember that it doesn’t all matter. Good enough is good enough. And sometimes the most effective (and efficient) way of meeting our goals is to throw on some fuzzy socks and get on with it. Show up where it matters and keep showing up. Operating from a place of consistency and making choices that are intentional is the way to get results. I promise if you approach the coming year with these values in mind you’ll be looking back on 2024 admiring your handiwork and wondering how the hell you accomplished the most without doing the most. 

Productivity is not  virtuous and messiness is morally neutral. It’s ok to do the minimum, just lean into that minimum. Optimize that minimum. Operate from a place of intentionality and stop doing all the things for their own sake. So many of us start the year thinking about what we want more of without considering the fact that we’re already at capacity and to get the more we want requires less of something else. 

What do you want less of this year? Send me an email or tell me in the comments. I’ll help if I can.

- Candi

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